Unfortunately, in every relationship, mistakes happen. In order for the relationship to stay healthy, steps must be taken to repair the damage caused by these mistakes.
This makes it crucial for each spouse to be willing and able to apologize promptly and to forgive willingly. If this area of the marriage is lacking, hurts and disappointments begin to compound, creating walls of separation and isolation.
Wise is the person who humbles themself to apologize quickly for their own faults, and to also forgive the shortcomings of their partner.
Here are a few resources which you might find beneficial on this topic:
Tips for Forgiveness
- Choose to forgive: Forgiveness is a decision, not just a feeling.
- Release resentment: Actively letting go of grudges prevents bitterness.
- Communicate forgiveness: Verbally affirming forgiveness helps rebuild trust.
- Pray together or individually: Invite God’s grace to soften hearts and restore the relationship.
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Making Sense of Forgiveness: Moving From Hurt to Hope
by Brad Hambrick
Tips for Apologies
- Be specific and sincere: When apologizing, clearly acknowledge what went wrong without making excuses. For example, “I’m sorry for raising my voice yesterday. It hurt you, and I didn’t intend that.”
- Take responsibility: Use “I” statements that own the mistake fully, avoiding blame-shifting.
- Show remorse and ask for forgiveness: Genuine regret and asking “Will you forgive me?” can open the door to healing.
- Make amends: Ask, “What can I do to make this right?” and follow through.
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Why Won’t You Apologize? Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts
by Dr. Harriet Lerner
